‘Tis the Season

For whatever reason, several friends of mine have recently gone through some troubling rough patches of life.

However, the troubling thing for me isn’t the fact that they are going through these instances, even though I feel terrible about what they’re dealing with.

No, what concerns me the most is how some of them are trying to cope with these real-life dilemmas.

Fortunately, some of them are realizing they are simply experiencing life, and are resolving to dig deeper into their faith.

Yet others appear to be either questioning their own faith, or doubting God really exists or cares about them.

What bothers me about the latter group is I fear they are putting undue pressure on themselves.

And though I’m not certain, I think a lot of this stems from our lack of understanding about how God works in our lives.

Now, I definitely don’t have all the answers myself, but I do know that sometimes the best “answer” to a problem isn’t necessarily knowing the answer, but more importantly, knowing where to look for that answer.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I think about life’s struggles, my mind automatically turns to the number-one struggler in the Bible – Job.

To make a long story short, Job’s life story is a direct result of a challenge between Satan and God.

At some point, Satan basically tells God that Job – who was one of the most extremely faithful, righteous and prosperous figures in that time – is only that way because God had built a “wall around” and “blessed” Job’s life, and essentially contends that if Job didn’t have it so good he wouldn’t be so righteous and faithful to God.

Well, obviously knowing He can’t lose any challenge, God gives Satan permission to test Job’s faith and righteousness.

And test him he did.

But even after all his possessions are stolen or destroyed, ten of his children are killed and his entire body is covered with gruesome sores – not to mention, the whole time his wife is telling him to just give up – Job never relents, and blesses the name of the Lord more than ever.

Of course, the story ends with Job’s health being completely restored, with a new family and twice as many possessions as before, but the moral of the story is that during the trials, Job never tried to fight with his power.

He realized that regardless of what he did, he wasn’t equipped to prevent life’s tests and simply trusted that it was all a part of God’s plan.

When you think about it, it’s a ridiculous notion to think we can do anything without His power; after all, He is the One who gave us everything we have in the first place.

But the point is that regardless of our situation, as terribly crushing to our emotions and senses as they can be at times, we have to trust that the Lord has our back – even (especially) when we can’t understand why.

We all go through seasons.

Some seasons yield tremendous harvesting of fruit, others not so much.

But let this give us great hope: When all of its leaves have rusted and fallen away, not much looks more “dead” than the lifeless, oak tree in the middle of winter.

However, that same old, gray piece of dead wood literally jumps to life in the heart of spring.

Friends, if you happen to be going through a rough patch, one in which seems to be overwhelmingly hopeless or frustratingly impossible, or one in which makes you doubt yourself or your faith, force yourself to take a timeout.

Think about Job, and how God once allowed one of the most faithful people on the planet to endure unthinkable misery to prove He can ultimately and eternally redeem and renew.

Or think about how God – despite how bleak and discouraging circumstances may look – is able to work incredible beauty out of the completely dreadful, whether it’s Job, an oak tree or you.

But whatever you do, please don’t assume God has deserted you just because He seems to be inexplicably ignoring your situation and your persistent prayers.

In fact, if you’re feeling God’s absence, it may be proof He is trying to tell or show you something bigger than your current hardship.

My prayer is that you at least consider that you might just be in a season in which you appear to be deteriorating, but instead, you are actually experiencing significant – and maybe even necessary – growth for the future.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4

Healing our Hoarding

My wife Amanda and I were watching the television show Hoarders: Buried Alive the other night when a depressing thought occurred to me.

Could that ever happen to me?

So many of us watch shows like this and think “how could these people live like that?” or “how could they let things get so far before getting help?”

And that’s when the thought hit me…maybe we’re ALL in danger of falling victim to the perils of extreme hoarding.

But the kind of hoarding I’m referring to, however, can’t be seen by the human eye and is exponentially more threatening to our lives than a home stacked waist-high in a cluttered mess.

No, the extreme hoarding I’m talking about is extreme Emotional Hoarding, and it is wedged deep within the darkest reaches of our souls.

A big reason for this is because we live in a society that tells us to be independently strong, to stand on our own two feet, to pick ourselves up by our own bootstraps, and that any sign of fear is a cowardly display of weakness.

I certainly don’t want to minimize the positives of a healthy self esteem, but many of the people we think of as having a healthy self esteem are internally petrified amidst a pile of Emotional Hoarding debris.

Tragically, Emotional Hoarding is born from our inability and unwillingness to confess – not just our sins, but all our secret fears, doubts, guilt, insecurities, habits, addictions, etc. – even to the ones nearest and dearest to us.

Much like the TV show where the homes can look normal on the outside, our outward appearance may seem just fine, but that is only because we have constructed a stone fortress wall around our hearts that hold all these things – fearing someone might see through to those dark secrets.

But, unlike the subjects on TV, the effects of this silent, inward suffering produces a terrifying psychological hardening, never allowing us to feel 100% free or comfortable in our own skin because “if anyone knew ________ about me, they’d never feel the same about me again.”

Now, I totally get how difficult it is to just voluntarily open ourselves up to others about very personal subjects, but think of a world where we could actually do just that?

I’m sure you’re wondering that even if we could, how would that help us mend such deep scars?

Well, just imagine if you came home from work one day, turned on the TV and suddenly heard your name and every – and I do mean EVERY – sin, secret and insecurity only you knew about yourself being broadcast in HD on the evening news?

Just the thought of that makes us ill, right?

However, if you really think about it, though it might be the most frightening moment of our life, it would also serve as the most freeing moment of our life too.

Yes, it would be crushing to hear, but as soon as it was all out there, we would no longer have to fear someone finding out the unthinkable about us anymore.

In the New Testament, James tells us in chapter 5 that we should “Confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that WE may be healed.”

Again, a scary thought, I know.

But I think we have to ask ourselves, is it any more dreadful than living in a world where a grieving widow can’t bear to let anyone find out about the horrible guilt he carries because a hurtful argument was the last time he spoke to his wife before she suddenly died?

Or where a woman who finally feels she has found the love of her life but is riddled with terror that he might find out about her promiscuous past?

All because “if anyone knew ________ about me, they’d never feel the same about me.”

I think author Donald Miller put it best when he wrote, “I have sometimes wondered if the greatest desire of man(kind) is to be (fully) known and loved anyway.”

So how do we at least begin the healing process?

Where do we start?

Well, the first thing we need to understand is that despite what the world may tell us, we need to start by admitting our weakness to ourselves – that we, like SO many others are simply a little broken inside.

If you ask me, THAT takes amazing strength!

It’s actually the key that we recognize our weakness, because that’s when we’ll finally realize we need the power of something/someone much stronger than ourselves to get through something so enormous.

But many of us don’t have someone we feel close enough to dump our baggage on, and even if we do, we fear losing their love or respect if we were to spill it all out on them.

What about Jesus?

I mean it’s not like He doesn’t already know what has built this massive wall around our heart anyway.

Just start getting alone for about 15-30 minutes at a time and just talk to Him, no fancy prayers or words, no pretense, no more hiding from shame.

And please don’t underestimate what you think He might say to you.

If you pour your heart out to Him, eventually He will pour Himself into your heart.

Then maybe with His strength you’ll be able to take the next step and confide in someone else without the fear of vulnerability.

Because all we really need is to just hear someone say, “Really? Is that ALL you were worried about? That could never change how much I love you.”

Let Jesus be the first to tell you this and then the healing process will finally begin.