Thankful for a PG-Rated Life

After pushing myself away from Thanksgiving dinner the other day, I began thinking about the things I’m most thankful for in my life.

Basically, I think most of us are thankful for similar things – family, friends, employment, etc.

My beautiful family is one of the things I’m most thankful for in life.

And while there’s nothing wrong with being thankful for those types of things, as I sat and pondered the things I’m thankful for, my mind drifted to some of the most difficult times in my otherwise ordinary life.

It’s often in these times that – when we’re able to look back into the cloud of hurt and uncertainty – we realize God was alongside us the whole time, steadily spinning His web of what’s known as Prevenient Grace into our life.

Prevenient Grace is what I like to call the divine super highway of forks in the roads of our destiny.

I personally think our lives are filled with opportunities – both delightful and painful – to engage our God-given free will to go in a direction that is either headed toward God, or away from God.

And I also believe that we may come to these forks not even knowing they are forks at all – or at least not until many years later anyway.

The reason I believe this has a lot to do with how you are even reading this very post today.

You see, the summer of 1993 was not a good time in my life by any stretch of the imagination.

I was an energetic 25-year old husband and father with a good job, new vehicle and was in the process of purchasing a lovely home in a small town.

It should have been the prime of my life, but it turned out to be a snare of avalanches waiting at every turn.

With little notice that things were going wrong, my now ex-wife informed me that she was leaving – with my son.

Less than two weeks later, my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

For the next six months I watched as my once-strong Dad withered and writhed in unrelenting pain until he passed away early that December.

Financially hanging by a thread, I switched jobs to work for a company that provided insurance so I could afford to pay child support.

And if that wasn’t enough, within two weeks of my father’s funeral, I lost the 2,000 square-foot house I had just finished remodeling and moved into an aging 12-foot-wide mobile home.

If someone would have told me God was working in my life at that point, I think I might have punched them.

Shortly after beginning my new job, I was confronted by one of my new managers after he had heard through the grapevine that I was a semi-talented “artist.”

Not wanting to disappoint my new boss, I reluctantly agreed to produce a weekly cartoon for the company newsletter.

But within a few weeks, I quickly realized I simply didn’t know enough about the company culture there to come up with pertinent or relative cartoons about the place, so I attempted to bow out of the obligation graciously.

Not a chance.

Instead, my boss – Marcus Perry – suggested I contribute to the newsletter in a different way.

He asked me to write.

You wouldn’t know it now, but at that time, I had ZERO interest in writing anything, much less a boring weekly article for a company newsletter.

Still trying not to disappoint, I grudgingly agreed since he said I could write about anything.

So I wrote about the only subject I knew anything about at that time…sports.

From there, something strange began to happen.

Over the next few weeks, I was encouraged by enough people that I decided to apply for a part-time job at the local newspaper.

Well, one thing led to another and not only did I go on to write professionally for the next 15 years as a part-time sportswriter, but I also earned 14 Florida Press Association writing awards in the process.

Then, when my “real” job (not to mention my monthly bills) demanded more of my time, I walked away from writing and journalism completely.

But just when I thought my “writing” career was over, God let me know He wasn’t done with me and writing just yet.

So after a nearly 5-year hiatus, I suddenly felt led to start the blog ministry you’re reading right now – A Changing Grace.

In less than three months, with His power – not mine – A Changing Grace has grown faster than I could’ve ever imagined, reaching nearly 1,400 visitors from 23 different countries.

Friends, I write this today not only because I’m thankful for God’s Prevenient Grace, but also to give you hope.

The fact is, no matter what we’re going through, and no matter how far God feels distant from you, don’t ever discount the fact that this just might be the moment He’s working the hardest in your life – even if you’re like me and it takes you nearly 20 years to figure it out.

A 180 view of 9/11

I remember the day like it was yesterday.

Not September 11, 2001 (although that day still resonates heavily in my mind).

No, the day I’m referring to is the day that forever changed the way I recall 9/11, and other misfortunes like it.

My wife Amanda and I had driven down to Orlando in separate vehicles (I was in town on business and she would later join me for a planned, kid-less weekend once I finished up business  at work).

That morning we left the hotel headed in different directions, she went out for a little shopping and I drove to my Orlando office for a meeting.

The day seemed to be entirely ordinary, but that would quickly change.

In the middle of my meeting, my cell phone began to quietly buzz – it was Amanda.

We’ve worked out a little system for situations like this.

If she calls while I’m in a meeting or if I’m busy, I simply let it go to voicemail.

But, if it is imperative that she contact me right away, she immediately calls back.

So when I saw the words “Amanda Cell” appear again within seconds, I excused myself from the meeting and answered her call.

Apparently while she was shopping, she had received a message that a mutual friend of ours, Jennifer, had suddenly fallen ill with a seizure and before she could reach the hospital was placed on life support.

To give you a little background on Jennifer, she had just come through an immense battle with breast cancer the year before and looked to be in total remission.

But on this particular morning, she collapsed in her bathroom from a brain tumor.

The cancer was back, but this time it had moved to her brain in the form of a golf ball-sized tumor.

I have to be totally honest here, at that time I was really only just “OK” friends with Jennifer and her husband Steve.

And there have been several instances in the past when similar circumstances involved someone closer to me that I didn’t feel the need to react suddenly.

But for some reason, the moment Amanda called to let me know what was happening, I felt strangely “compelled” to leave Orlando and drive back to Gainesville immediately.

So I politely excused myself from the meeting and within a few minutes, Amanda arrived and we headed back toward Gainesville (remember, in separate vehicles).

It was during that drive back that I felt – for the first time in my life – an overwhelming urge to reach out to God.

I really didn’t know what to say, but because the impulse was so strong, I just started talking to Him like I’m talking to you now.

And to give you a little background on me, you need to understand that until that very moment, I had never genuinely prayed – ever.

Oh, I talked about prayer prior to that.

I even use to look people right in the eye – when they were going through a tough time – and tell them, “I’ll keep you in my prayers,” yet I never did.

In my defense, I honestly meant no harm, but I guess I simply viewed prayer as the right thing to say to someone who was going through rough times.

Well, needless to say, I had my first conversation with God that day on the drive back.

I don’t remember everything I said, but I spoke to Him for about 25 minutes or so.

I’m sure the people having to maneuver around me on the interstate thought it a bit strange/annoying to see a guy just rambling on and on with no one else in the truck.

But I suddenly felt as if a HUGE weight had been lifted off my chest.

It was the most freeing conversation I’d have ever had in my life!

From that point on, I speak to Him often – mostly in the mornings over peanut butter toast and coffee on the way to work – behind a steering wheel, just like our first conversation.

My life literally hasn’t been the same since that day!

It’s changed the way I view God, how I view others and how I view what most people call tragedy.

I use to question how God could let bad things happen.

And right or wrong, I now firmly believe that it isn’t God who “allows” the bad things or “creates” the pain, suffering or death – it’s the wonderful things that happen during those awful occurrences is what He’s doing.

For instance, I would imagine not one single person in the Critical Care Unit waiting room just outside Jennifer’s room that afternoon was thinking about me.

And rightfully so.

Though Jennifer would eventually (maybe even miraculously) fully recover, their thoughts were focused solely on a wonderful young lady battling for her life and how this situation was crumbling around her family.

To the casual observer, it was obvious nothing “good” was happening in that situation.

Except for the fact that two hours south of that hospital, somewhere along the interstate, someone as insignificant as me was encountering the Holy Spirit for the very first time – all because of this “tragedy.”

Now whenever I hear or see something terrible happening, I automatically turn my thoughts to what God’s mercy and grace might be up to in that situation, regardless of whether or not it is visible at that moment or not.

And that brings me to the terrorist attacks on 9/11/2001.

On the surface, most people recall that day as horrifying, heart-breaking, sad, angering, etc. – basically, nothing “good” seemed to be happening in that situation.

And though I’ll never downplay the senseless and tragic deaths of all those people, because of how Jennifer’s situation has changed the way I look at things, I now look at that infamous day with a sense of awe and wonder.

Crazy?

Not if you think about the hundreds of people who – under tremendous duress and unthinkable chaos – willingly and selflessly sacrificed their lives to save the lives of complete strangers in moment’s notice.

I know it’s not easy to accept that the reality just may be that we are all somewhat at the mercy of death, tragedy and suffering – mostly due to the free-will decisions of others – here in this world.

But just remember this, God is infinitely larger than this world, and one day He will perfectly and completely undo every pain, every suffering and every death.

And until then, take comfort in the fact that He is and does work tremendous “good” in every “bad” situation, whether we see it or not.